If I Could Turn Back Time..

    ometimes I wish I could go back and tell myself what I know.. 'Cause I'm living in the present, but my mind is on the past! My mind is away lately. Thinking. Remembering. I'm not sayin' that I'm not happy now..Oh God, not! I'm so happy and grateful for what I have! I love my life! I have what I need and I need what I have, but..sometimes..I miss some little things from the past. I miss not being busy all the time! I miss spending the day how I like to!
    I miss some things and people that I thought they were good for me, but now I don't have these things anymore, because I realised that..They were just passing through my life. Temporary things and people. And I understand the concept: "Not everyone that we meet is meant to be in our future. Some are just teaching us lessons about life." but the problem is that I'm too sensitive and I care too much and I get attached to 'em. And then I remember and I start to miss these times. Oh, it's hard..Am I the only one that feels like this?
     I mean the present is great! I have a good job, I have my boyfriend that loves me soooo much, I have my family that supports me, but..what's missing? I think that my free time is missing. All the parties, and drinking and fun...
     "Friends"..do I really have friends? What is the meaning of a friend? Is a friend that person that goes out without you?  I think not..Is a friend someone who NEVER calls you? I don't think so..The conclusion: I don't have friends. They are just people. People I meet ocasionally. Sadly...
     I'm glad that I saw. It's nice to know who are you talking to. 'Cause I'm the type of person that analyzes everybody to know how to talk to 'em and how to react to their existence. I always analyze the way they talk, the way they move, their feelings and their emotions, their expressions and their fears. I like to know everybody around me. I like to read people. It's interesting. Sometimes I notice some things that they do, even if they are not realising they're doing these things. Amazing.
   Am I crazy? I hope not! 'Cause that's how I roll :D


    If I could only turn back time...just to go and watch. Just as an bystander. I just need a rewind button sometimes. I don't want to change anything. The only thing I want to do is to be the spectator of my life.